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NASA, the brilliant scientists that they are, is going to try to launch Discovery as early as May 12th.
WHAT KIND OF FUCKING IDIOTS ARE YOU PEOPLE?! YOU CANNOT USE RE-USEABLE SHUTTLES!!!???!!!
One would think that they’d get that through their thick skulls after Challenger, and have the point driven home after Colombia…BUT NOOO!!!! They need to risk MORE lives with Discovery.
What next? Oh we fucked up with the first 3 shuttles, why not go all out and launch Endevor and Atlantis together, and set them on a collision course.
The remaining 3 shuttles BELONG IN A FUCKING MUSEUM! not totally re-equipped with “new technology” and launched again!
i am going to cut a lot of these because they are long. Tech Support stories 
Boss calls me one day: “I need you get get him off my computer”.
Me (???? Is this something I want to see? Too many possibilities here). “Ok, be right there.”
When I get to his office, he’s pointing at an icon on his desktop. A Word file. “I want him off of there.”
I dragged it to the recycle bin, knowing he just wanted it done, knowing an explanation would be too much to handle.
I guess it keeps me employed.
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ME:
“ISP tech support, how can I help you?”
Crying teenage girl:
“I can’t get my email, it won’t connect, I’ve been away at camp for a whole week and I’m leaving again soon, I have to get my email.”
Soon I find out that her only local local dialup number is having problems today (The WAN card on the number’s server suddenly failed, a new one was being Fed-Exed overnight, it would be fixed as soon as the part arrived the next day).
Me:
“Our engineers are working on it, miss, the server will be working tomorrow morning.”
Girl, crying harder:
“But I need to get my email now! I’m leaving tomorrow for camp again!”
Me:
“I’m sorry miss, but there is noting we can do until the new part arrives tomorrow morning.”
Girl, bawling:
“I’m going to sue you for this! I can’t get my email! I’m leaving for camp again and I won’t be able to get it for a week!”
Me:
“I’m really sorry, it will be back up in the morning.”
Girl:
“How could you turn the server off right when I need it?!”
Me, getting a little bit annoyed:
“We didn’t break it on purpose to make you sad miss.”
Girl, screaming:
“Yes you did! *sob* Yes you did!! I’m going to bring a lawsuit against you!”
My finger barely made it to the mute button before I burst out laughing.
Girl, as she hung up:
“Daddy!!!”
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I work in the UK for a major ISP and both of these very similar calls happened within half an hour of each other
me: …..
idiot: member
call 1:-
me: good afternoon this is *** technical support can i have your screen name please
idiot: S.A.M.S.U.N.G
me: no not the name of your monitor your screen name
call 2:-
me: good afternoon this is *** technical support can i have your screen name please
idiot: windows 98
I now ask them for there phone number to find there details, it takes longer but well at least i dont have people telling me who made there monitor or what there os is !!
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Not so much a tech support, but a technophobe story.
Many years ago whilst trying to pass some time and get bits of paper to prove that I did have the knowledge I possessed, I joined a local college. They quickly realised I already knew what they were teaching me, and asked if I could give them a hand when their staff strated falling like flies with flu. It sounded fun, so I agreed.
One student was a complete technophobe. It took us best part of a week before she would even turn the computer on in case she broke it.
By the end of the first term she was doing superbly, but always stayed away from one key on the keyboard. It was in those days when this key was in RED.
One day she asked me what would happen if she pressed it. “Nothing!” I told her, and explained that some programs used it to give the user a means of stopping the program. You could see the torment on her face. She was so proud of getting used to the computer and learning about it, but petrified in case I was wrong.
Several “Go on, press it, nothing will happen.” soothing statements later and she decided to press it.
THAT was when the idiots decided to test the fire alarm without the usual warning over the speakers.
The chair went one way, she went another the and keyboard headed off at a completely different tangent. It took 2 of the lads a good half hour to find her, bring her back, and calm her down with several cups of tea. We never saw he again.
In one breath I could have killed the engineers, and I know that in the next life I will be punished for saying this, but just seeing the expression of abject terror on her face made it all the more worthwhile.
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*gigglesnorts*
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